christography

It’s been almost 20 years since I started in the business of photography, and longer if I considered my life as an artist! To slog through so many generations of artists who’ve given up, and so many who did the ‘other’ route. Through this time, I’ve learnt that the only life for everyone, would be the life of an artist. One can be an artist even while doing accounting work, even the toilet cleaner. It is through the understanding of life, and its aesthetics that more can be accomplished. Why else would we have the light we have to see things, and the chair we sit on, the countless recipes that we cook wonderful food from? All because people are artists.

Near the end of last year, an opportunity came about and I found the space of my dreams, high ceilings, huge space (I believe the dreams of many artists who would crave for such a space). It took several months before the space was overhauled and ready for work.

Never one to take things for granted, I took weeks to put in furniture, equipment, everything. With the help of friends, and clients who care, it is now almost done. Fresh and newly minted Light Editions Gallery.

I’ve had so many friends who came visiting, and so many who have sent in their proposals to do a show at my gallery.

I am just so blessed in so many ways, especially when my dream come true. I am living the life of an artist.

Going to a Necessary Stage (TNS) performance always leaves me confused and thinking. This play was no exception.

I caught it last night, wondering about what to expect since I’d heard about the “singles / homosexuals / maxist can change” parts, I’d told myeslf to go with an open mind and just see what comes along.

When it started with “singles”, I was rather bored with the pro-government approach to singlehood. I’d already  been living through it with our daily media bombardment, not to mention in our daily lives from those around us. So when the question and answer session came (as part of the “singles” performance), I was too bored to even think of a question to ask. That was not to say I was not surprised. I was surprised that something like that could come out from TNS.

When “homosexuals” came on, I was ready to just see it like “singles” - more government bells, whistles, logos and trumpets. But as it droned on, I started to see a pattern; that wait, I was changing. I wanted to challenge what was being played on stage. I now had questions for the question and answer session in “singles”, will they have another session for “homosexuals”? No, they didn’t. darn.

Then came “marxists”, which was not really a play, but just a slide show of what’s happened to TNS in its early years being labelled as Marxists just because they attended a theatre workshop that was marxsists. The media and government came around, actually, not the mis-labelled marxists. For me, this part didn’t quite gel with the first 2 parts, though.

QUESTIONS. Why was it that those who don’t change still got to enjoy the perks? The aunt in “singles’ got what she wanted - a family life created by her niece. The mom, in “homosexuals” got what she want when her son got married. TNS got what they want, by staying as who they are (not marxsists, of course, but rather passionate practioners)?

Was this a play about power? Was this a play about how people become what others see of them? Was this about how change has to be balanced by unchange? The ideals of society has remained unchanged, yet people have to make choices of the changes they need in order to conform into this unchanging ideals.

Was this play created to explore how people would like to think or behave when put in a situation where everything is just status quo?

THOUGHTS. As a pro-government play, it had gone on to show what it would be like if arts were all just straight and morally correct and expected. Maybe it should have been a ’snow white with 7 CMIO skates on ice for Channel 5″; more shine, more glitz, more publically entertaining, since it was not meant to “upset the non-thinking majority”. Oh wait, that wouldn’t be TNS, then.

Personally, I’ve always thought change was inevitable. The idea of women only staying indoors have long been overturned due to economics. Even the idea that only women cam give birth is now being developed on, due to the idea of equality (and maybe economics. Hmmm.). But the thing that urks me most is when people assume that ‘moral standing’ is, as it always should be, that ’social responsibility’ is, as it always has been, that being different is not as it always has been. To have change is something that I quite look forward to in my daily life. It is often in the change that new interesting things can evolve, and it is through the un-changing that one can find solice and comfort. To have this play remind me that change in the sea of ‘un-changed’ is as important as un-changed in the sea of ‘changed’.

Bravo, guys!

..was my birthday. My 41st birthday; celebrating my 41 years of existence, and stepping right into my 42nd year the very next day. It’s strange how people always tell us “You are xx years old already?” when actually I’m xx+1  already. Having realized how painful the birthings are for the mothers, I never really thought much about celebrating my own birthday. Well, that and the fact that in my younger years, friends would not remember my birthdays as it is usually the first day of school. And the rare ones that I had became way too emotional for me (because they cared).

This year’s was different, I wanted to celebrate, as I’d survived a year that was truly challenging and tiring for me; I had a health scare (which came up to nothing), several major wrong decisions being imposed on me (being side-laid by idiots), big disappointments from the people of my industry that forced me to give up one of my biggest and favorate-est social project (circa), dealing with little people who does not understand quality fine art printing and yet still tries to steal my business by imitating me (some cheap printing outfit), a power failure (which cost me quite a huge amount of money, not to mention my back from carrying cooling devices from home to lab over 2 days), having big dreams dashed (due to the fact that I could not afford the renovations that the future landlord would demand for). E.T.C. E.T.C. E.T.C.

It was also the year that some dreams are realized (my first solo museum show at Baba House), big dreams could finally be realized (I am still crossing my fingers here), I figured that farming would be so good for me (in Yamanashi, Japan), that maybe my audience was situated in the wrong country (Japanese really dig my works), that there was only so much that I could care about (world, you have to start looking out for yourself), that friends could come from the most unexpected places (coffee shop helpers, library peeps, you guys are the best-est!), that some friends would always misunderstand you and that you have to understand that they will one day understand and let that go for now. That my make-believe families can be warmer than my real family (my Japanese family, my kids - girls and boys, you know who you are). That my real family, would sometimes give me gems in life that makes me a better person. This is the year that I’ve also decided to take a partial hiatus from teaching because I am tired, but more poignantly, because I should start forcusing on myself, that I am really important.

It was also a year of serendipity; Interesting projects that works out because objects, notes, friends comes together in a way that I could not have planned. That friends would know friends of friends who knew other friends that connected with me. That a plant that I’d been looking for, for months, suddenly appear at my front gate as a gift from a dear friend who didn’t even know I was looking for that plant! That a bowl shaped well, bowl, was bought in Taiwan for me, at about the same time as I was looking at another similar shaped bowl at a museum in Singapore. That characters would come to life in my exhibition at Baba House. That even Serendipity can be serendipity.

It took my whole birthDAY to bring it all together and made sense of all that I’ve gone through. In that single day, I spent it with people that I cared about. We drank and ate food that would not have been possible if not for the love of friends. I almost cried for a friend, I laughed at another, I contemplated with yet another. We shared insights to a friend new to the arts. We wished for the almost arrival of a precious new life, feeling a whole lot of energy, and ended the night with a friend talking about art, creation, human flaws and weaknesscess, strengths and hope for the future. That sometimes, planning has to give way to serendipity. Not everything was to the heart, of course. I learnt about managing projects, planning ahead, character types, importance of a good team. My birthday extended till past 2am this morning. I was buzzing by the time I had to end my last conversation for my birthday, and yet, my phone kept buzzing with birthday wishes. I am so blessed.

For the new year, I want to be even more human; feeling the pains and the joys. I want to be more forgiving of those that had transpass against me and be grateful for the friends that I already have. Most of all, I want to be more grounded, more present in the way that I’ll live my life.

Thank you life, thank you friends, thank you families.

it’s hard to explain how it was like to have known a friend for so long for what he is, yet only realizing that he hadn’t known it himself. To me, it’s one of life’s mysteries.

“After searching for so long, this is always what I’ve wanted to do.” “You know, I’ve been dressing up since I was 8!”

Life comes back in cycles.

Below are images of this journey. It was all found during a preparation for a concert in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Gorgeous. Adventurous.

just develop what could be a new hobby. Moss growing! Though I suspect one of them is a lichen.. but i’m not professional, yet.

This last one’s leaves are like seaweed.. this is the one I think is a lichen..

John Ruskin had wished that he could be very wealthy, but his wealth was not of the dollars and cents, or that plot of land, or cards, he wished to be wealthy in kindness, curiosity, sensitivity, humility and intelligence. Which life is made up of.

I’ve been talking about how the bad market situation should finally give people the time to rethink what living was about, and then I read this, I don’t think I would have been able to say it better. 

Relationships and life are not only about money transactions.

Was taking a slow walk home last night and suddenly, this thought hit me as I was walking past the multi-storey car park. 

A lot of the cars look the same, and yeah, I know I’m one of those car-idiot who can’t tell a Nissan from a Honda, but it was really quite amazing to see everyone driving really similar car.

And I thought to myself “What if I were a car manufacturer? To increase interest in my product, plus be able to still sell my products at a premium, I would create several flexible templates that allows customers to choose and combine into a car of their own making!” 

Huh? Well, imaging if I wanted a boot that was deeper lined with plushed black soft rubbers, seats that were wider in sky blue color, bonnet that was really flat and pink, doors that lifts up to the sky. The thing is, the insides of cars are basically the same, so produce a really environmentally sound inside, then the outsides can all be customized up to a certain limit (by the legal limit of car width, etc). 

I might actually take up driving if this happens!

Well, you heard it here first.

.. I wish I had time to just waste.

the smell, the sounds, the touch, all the senses. 

it’s never the same with mind over matter. it’ll come a time where you realize it’s a memory. Imagine if I could be at a place where I could just sit and only hear the wind, the rustle of the grass, and creaking of the branches, the movement of the pure raw energy from me to nature and nature to me. 

when was the last time you heard nothing but natural sounds?

when was the last time you feel real fresh from just breathing? 

when was the last time you hug a tree, felt the veins on the wing of a butterfly?

when was the last time you could see a real yellowish pinkish egg shell color?

or where?

I’ve predicted how building will be using light as ‘art’ on their exteriors since 2 years ago. Tho’ I didn’t predict how boring it was going to be here in Singapore. 

I’ll predict that we’ll have forests on the roofs of our houses. Maybe not all the HDBs, but some, but it’ll be most noticeable in new landed properties. I’ll also predict how the shapes of things will be more organic, and less angular. 

You heard it here first.