christography

It’s not often that I re-considered going back to work (not the going back to work part, but the re-considering part); but I felt guilty coming back to my office after watching A Cage Goes In Search Of A Bird. I had to have a glass of Cognac, followed by a large glass of bubbly with Disco George Michael blasting in the background of my gallery before I started work again.

The play was executed with simple intelligence. Almost everything was in black and white; making everything full of symbolism. I do remember the red color of the fish and the funeral tablet - linking the death of both. Visually, it was stunning stark, the acting standing out almost as if the drawings on a blank canvas.

The almost mechanical sounds, with the almost mechanical acting, with the almost mechanical lighting, made the point of telling the audience that stripped off all the “romantics” of life, this was truly where we live in, and how we lived.The almost-ness suggests the organic forms and movements that were happening on stage, had a chance of life.

As if breaking out of the monotony of the play, it slowly evolved from that rhythm. Into song and dance - seems to be poking fun at the ‘form’ that is fast becoming the norm in the theater world; if there could indeed, be a norm in the creative art world. I totally enjoyed the dancing, especially by Tim. His long limps waving frantically in the air, almost swimming in air, like the bird that got away from the cage.

The symbolism of life giving water, was most obvious when the actor had to deliver a lifeless folder in the rain. He was soaked and obviously “came to life” after the shower.

The deaths were all full of drama, as if to mock at the materialization of the loss. The flush of the toilet, the fall into the grave, the breaking of the bar that held the hanging rope - all symbolic descent to hell. And the customization of modern funeral offerings hint of modern life, all becomes ash.

I wondered if I was becoming one of those birds that one finds in a pet shop; most won’t survive out of the cage in the wild. I wondered if death had indeed been over-played by most. I wondered if life itself was over-played by the “offerings” that life would suppose to provide.

I choose to be the bird that ran from the cage, and survived in the ‘wilderness’.

I choose to be leading an artist’s life, and I am so glad that I have my artists friends who would remind me again, and again, through their works, that life is so much more full of experiences and explorations, if only one chooses to break away from the cage that holds them back.

I am so happy that being an artist has led me to so much more of what life has to offer.

This night had proven to be one hell of a disco! : )

It’s been almost 20 years since I started in the business of photography, and longer if I considered my life as an artist! To slog through so many generations of artists who’ve given up, and so many who did the ‘other’ route. Through this time, I’ve learnt that the only life for everyone, would be the life of an artist. One can be an artist even while doing accounting work, even the toilet cleaner. It is through the understanding of life, and its aesthetics that more can be accomplished. Why else would we have the light we have to see things, and the chair we sit on, the countless recipes that we cook wonderful food from? All because people are artists.

Near the end of last year, an opportunity came about and I found the space of my dreams, high ceilings, huge space (I believe the dreams of many artists who would crave for such a space). It took several months before the space was overhauled and ready for work.

Never one to take things for granted, I took weeks to put in furniture, equipment, everything. With the help of friends, and clients who care, it is now almost done. Fresh and newly minted Light Editions Gallery.

I’ve had so many friends who came visiting, and so many who have sent in their proposals to do a show at my gallery.

I am just so blessed in so many ways, especially when my dream come true. I am living the life of an artist.

Going to a Necessary Stage (TNS) performance always leaves me confused and thinking. This play was no exception.

I caught it last night, wondering about what to expect since I’d heard about the “singles / homosexuals / maxist can change” parts, I’d told myeslf to go with an open mind and just see what comes along.

When it started with “singles”, I was rather bored with the pro-government approach to singlehood. I’d already  been living through it with our daily media bombardment, not to mention in our daily lives from those around us. So when the question and answer session came (as part of the “singles” performance), I was too bored to even think of a question to ask. That was not to say I was not surprised. I was surprised that something like that could come out from TNS.

When “homosexuals” came on, I was ready to just see it like “singles” - more government bells, whistles, logos and trumpets. But as it droned on, I started to see a pattern; that wait, I was changing. I wanted to challenge what was being played on stage. I now had questions for the question and answer session in “singles”, will they have another session for “homosexuals”? No, they didn’t. darn.

Then came “marxists”, which was not really a play, but just a slide show of what’s happened to TNS in its early years being labelled as Marxists just because they attended a theatre workshop that was marxsists. The media and government came around, actually, not the mis-labelled marxists. For me, this part didn’t quite gel with the first 2 parts, though.

QUESTIONS. Why was it that those who don’t change still got to enjoy the perks? The aunt in “singles’ got what she wanted - a family life created by her niece. The mom, in “homosexuals” got what she want when her son got married. TNS got what they want, by staying as who they are (not marxsists, of course, but rather passionate practioners)?

Was this a play about power? Was this a play about how people become what others see of them? Was this about how change has to be balanced by unchange? The ideals of society has remained unchanged, yet people have to make choices of the changes they need in order to conform into this unchanging ideals.

Was this play created to explore how people would like to think or behave when put in a situation where everything is just status quo?

THOUGHTS. As a pro-government play, it had gone on to show what it would be like if arts were all just straight and morally correct and expected. Maybe it should have been a ’snow white with 7 CMIO skates on ice for Channel 5″; more shine, more glitz, more publically entertaining, since it was not meant to “upset the non-thinking majority”. Oh wait, that wouldn’t be TNS, then.

Personally, I’ve always thought change was inevitable. The idea of women only staying indoors have long been overturned due to economics. Even the idea that only women cam give birth is now being developed on, due to the idea of equality (and maybe economics. Hmmm.). But the thing that urks me most is when people assume that ‘moral standing’ is, as it always should be, that ’social responsibility’ is, as it always has been, that being different is not as it always has been. To have change is something that I quite look forward to in my daily life. It is often in the change that new interesting things can evolve, and it is through the un-changing that one can find solice and comfort. To have this play remind me that change in the sea of ‘un-changed’ is as important as un-changed in the sea of ‘changed’.

Bravo, guys!

New image updates of the plants that grows on trees just outside of Tao nan school. These were shot at about 3am early this morning.

..was my birthday. My 41st birthday; celebrating my 41 years of existence, and stepping right into my 42nd year the very next day. It’s strange how people always tell us “You are xx years old already?” when actually I’m xx+1  already. Having realized how painful the birthings are for the mothers, I never really thought much about celebrating my own birthday. Well, that and the fact that in my younger years, friends would not remember my birthdays as it is usually the first day of school. And the rare ones that I had became way too emotional for me (because they cared).

This year’s was different, I wanted to celebrate, as I’d survived a year that was truly challenging and tiring for me; I had a health scare (which came up to nothing), several major wrong decisions being imposed on me (being side-laid by idiots), big disappointments from the people of my industry that forced me to give up one of my biggest and favorate-est social project (circa), dealing with little people who does not understand quality fine art printing and yet still tries to steal my business by imitating me (some cheap printing outfit), a power failure (which cost me quite a huge amount of money, not to mention my back from carrying cooling devices from home to lab over 2 days), having big dreams dashed (due to the fact that I could not afford the renovations that the future landlord would demand for). E.T.C. E.T.C. E.T.C.

It was also the year that some dreams are realized (my first solo museum show at Baba House), big dreams could finally be realized (I am still crossing my fingers here), I figured that farming would be so good for me (in Yamanashi, Japan), that maybe my audience was situated in the wrong country (Japanese really dig my works), that there was only so much that I could care about (world, you have to start looking out for yourself), that friends could come from the most unexpected places (coffee shop helpers, library peeps, you guys are the best-est!), that some friends would always misunderstand you and that you have to understand that they will one day understand and let that go for now. That my make-believe families can be warmer than my real family (my Japanese family, my kids - girls and boys, you know who you are). That my real family, would sometimes give me gems in life that makes me a better person. This is the year that I’ve also decided to take a partial hiatus from teaching because I am tired, but more poignantly, because I should start forcusing on myself, that I am really important.

It was also a year of serendipity; Interesting projects that works out because objects, notes, friends comes together in a way that I could not have planned. That friends would know friends of friends who knew other friends that connected with me. That a plant that I’d been looking for, for months, suddenly appear at my front gate as a gift from a dear friend who didn’t even know I was looking for that plant! That a bowl shaped well, bowl, was bought in Taiwan for me, at about the same time as I was looking at another similar shaped bowl at a museum in Singapore. That characters would come to life in my exhibition at Baba House. That even Serendipity can be serendipity.

It took my whole birthDAY to bring it all together and made sense of all that I’ve gone through. In that single day, I spent it with people that I cared about. We drank and ate food that would not have been possible if not for the love of friends. I almost cried for a friend, I laughed at another, I contemplated with yet another. We shared insights to a friend new to the arts. We wished for the almost arrival of a precious new life, feeling a whole lot of energy, and ended the night with a friend talking about art, creation, human flaws and weaknesscess, strengths and hope for the future. That sometimes, planning has to give way to serendipity. Not everything was to the heart, of course. I learnt about managing projects, planning ahead, character types, importance of a good team. My birthday extended till past 2am this morning. I was buzzing by the time I had to end my last conversation for my birthday, and yet, my phone kept buzzing with birthday wishes. I am so blessed.

For the new year, I want to be even more human; feeling the pains and the joys. I want to be more forgiving of those that had transpass against me and be grateful for the friends that I already have. Most of all, I want to be more grounded, more present in the way that I’ll live my life.

Thank you life, thank you friends, thank you families.

Was just at the Singapore Flyer yesterday, and saw this wonderful wonderful installations and immediately felt like Christmas!

Merry Christmas, all.

Kinda like Christmas glass balls on wings!

Some how, I have this feeling that you will not be coming back.. yeah, I know, I’m weird that way! But I hope I’m wrong! Well, at least got this picture to remind us!

Who else can I go to for brainless banter, and intellectual discussion at the same time! But aiya, you do mumble way too much - a sign of your generation, surely! haha.

And yes, I will definitely try to visit! And you promised you will try to get a real nice apartment for all of us friends! heh - sabo.

All thanks to Yan wei and Yimin, went to the Herbarium at Singapore Botanical Gardens. Really, really nice, and such memories and inspirations! Thanks to Prof Benito too! He is a really, nice nice guy! All the talk about Moss, Liverworts, Lichen! Pai sae, I still don’t really know the differences! But I do know the difference between the algae and moss, now! hur hur. After the herbarium, we walked and I found this dirty colored hibicus that’s surely it’s natural color! Like huh and wow at the same time.

I do think that having people like the Prof around does grow the passion for plants. I’m already passionate about plants, but he just made it that much more interesting!

When I got back, I also found out what terrarium meant, I’d thought it meant ‘a collection of growing moss’. I’ve been googling ‘grow moss’, and the information is not exactly forth coming. Maybe it’s a hint that I should grown moss together with other plants.. Well, now at least I’m not talking nonsense with the professionals. heh. Still can’t seem to find info on just moss growing, though. Will do trial and error!

This Lichen above is called the Graphis because of its weird ‘fonts’ like structures. Try to make out a word! haha..

This is how I felt after the whole walk around the gardens! Quite telling since my next ‘time for myself’ thingy would probably to buy and ride a bike!

Noriko, I know you read this pretty often, so this is for you.

This was taken about almost a week ago, so they should start full bloom in about 2 weeks! I counted about 30 of these flower buds and more has grown since. AND, there was another tree that has even more flower buds!

Enjoy!

Update! These are the blooms a few days later!

it’s hard to explain how it was like to have known a friend for so long for what he is, yet only realizing that he hadn’t known it himself. To me, it’s one of life’s mysteries.

“After searching for so long, this is always what I’ve wanted to do.” “You know, I’ve been dressing up since I was 8!”

Life comes back in cycles.

Below are images of this journey. It was all found during a preparation for a concert in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Gorgeous. Adventurous.